This flowchart from dear Miss Jennis pretty much covers the bases for everything I like (namely, flowcharts and bemused judgment). But, all jokes aside, it’s looking like I’ll probably be having a pretty seriously hipster wedding. Bring on the mason jars + beards!
Category: Funny
Heirloom Slimer
This weekend we plucked 26 perfectly ripe tomatoes from the garden… and this cucumber that looks exactly like Slimer from Ghostbusters.
Slimer image from here.
The Owl and the Pussycat
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar…
Sweetheart comes home today! This and so many other marvelous things coming up this week! A sweet furniture DIY (or as we like to call it SSPOI- “slap some paint on it”), some awesome garden projects, a little buzz, some found art, and a few birds, of course. I’m putting the finishing touches on a few things and sharing them as they come along, so in the meantime please enjoy this, the awesomest video of new friends ever (note the resemblance between Fum the cat and Mr. Nipsey Russell).
Thanks to sweet Rav for sharing this video. Owl and Pussycat from here. Oh the runcible spoon!
A day for the Idiot
Yes, this is me riding on top of a moving piano welded to a shopping cart with lower Manhattan in the background. nbd. Let’s just say that this weekend marked the umpty-umpth anniversary of the Brooklyn Idiotarod. The Idiotarod is modeled on Alaska’s famous Iditarod sled dog race except that instead of sleek sleds and beautiful mush dogs, the Idiotarod features shopping carts and idiots. In short, teams of morons decide on a theme and build, weld, and decorate shopping carts (secured via various nefarious dealings of which I have no knowledge) according to that theme, and race from neighborhood to neighborhood, from checkpoint to checkpoint, competing in games of wit, battle raps, and feats of strength to learn the location of the next stop. Brilliant. This year, we were a mobile speakeasy- replete with illegal gambling, a speakeasy bar with punches and teas that would surely give you the jake leg, and an ACTUAL PIANO for prohibition-era ivory tinkling. That’s right, a Piano. And, obviously, all on wheels.
We battled snow and salt, the ample hills of Brooklyn and her painful BQE crossings, teams of Pac Men, Nuns with Bad Habits, Game of Thongs (feat. House Stark Naked), bubbies from behind the Iron Curtain, knights in armor, a circus menagerie, apocalyptic steampunkers (whose cart featured a working woodstove, wtf omg), and Charlie Sheen.
And, of course, the race finished at the Gowanus Ballroom with a drag show, a brass band, and a giant trebuchet called the cart-a-pult specifically designed to hurl the carts from the race against a wall. On fire. (more info on that here).
Only in New York. Bless you Brooklyn. And bless Rav and Stephen for coming up and really making it something special. 
Images from flickr (thank you), Gothamist for the first and flaming cart images, and Tony and Evan, fellow idiots and dear friends. Oh. And we made the news.
CAT BOUNCE
Do you see a theme this week? I don’t know why there is such a glorious bounty of awesome cat websites this week (Probably because Nipsey Russell turned three on Monday), but I present you, humbly, and with immense joy: CAT BOUNCE. Make it Rain.
The Kitten Covers
THE KITTEN COVERS. Combining my two favorite things (classic records and cats) with my two favorite memes (sleeveface and icanhascheezburger). Just. Please. How Wonderful. Bless Meags for showing me the way…
Not Write Notes
Right on the heels of yesterday’s inspiring daily regimen from Henry Miller, my dear Maman sent me this to-do list from the man in black, Johnny Cash. I particularly like #2 and #3, and in light of the source, #9.
image from here.
Fingers Stained Red
Sweet. Fancy. Moses. “Hot Cheetos and Takis”. I know I’m a little late to the game on this, but if, like me until this morning, you haven’t clapped your ears on what is the hypest summer jam since this one then you. must. watch. All your questions (are these kids real? yes. did they write this song, really? yes. as part of an after school program. What’s a taki?) and more answered here. I’m on point like an elbow, Hands red like elmo, My mama said ‘have you had enough?’, I look and I said ‘no ma’am’. Happy Friday, indeed.
Pants
Prepping for a pants-free weekend, may you all do likewise.
Infinite thanks to Mr. Willem for this diagram, the most frequently pantsless man I know.
Travel Proud
Perhaps my singlemost proudest moment as a citizen of New York City: I fought a parking ticket and won.
Feather By Feather 