Fruit flies. Ugh. They are manifest by the compost bin, having a dance party on the pears Sweetheart loves and has left to linger, fruitful and multiplying over last night’s wine, all up in your face, even worse than stink bugs because at least you know that stink bugs will come incessantly like the bucket-brooms of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice regardless of what you might have left on the counter, but if you have fruit flies, it’s kind of your fault. BUT. There’s an old-wives-almanac-solution, and it works (see above fruit fly massacre). Take a small mason jar, put in two fingers of apple cider vinegar, a tiny squeeze of dish-soap, cover with plastic wrap poked full of holes, add a lid rim and boom. Fruit fly trap. The flies are attracted to the vinegar (forget what they say about catching more of them with honey, that’s only true as a metaphor about being nice) and try to land on it, but the soap breaks the surface tension of the water and the flies demise. Simple, effective, bug carnage.